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About Deviant Premium Member melissaFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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the fever I burn
in my belly
is agony and comfort.

and I worry my fingernails
quick to the wick
as their lives burn hot
like dripping candles;
they say you choose
the devil you know
over the one unknown,
the one who shares
your bed at night
because it keeps you
warm, you swear
it keeps you safe.

I’ve learned,
from over and over
picking my wounds open,
that I know I am more afraid
of healing
than I am afraid
of death.
do you think I should make a genuine return to dA?
52 deviants said yes!
4 deviants said I'm not sure
1 deviant said other
No deviants said stick to tumblr
No deviants said you're unrelatable now, don't bother
No deviants said nah, your work isn't as good
No deviants said maybe, but only for your photos
No deviants said no
(the quiet things that no one ever knows//)


so last night, I couldn't fall asleep because I had a shit ton of anxiety because of this website. I was thinking about how I missed it. kinda weird, since I haven't posted anything in like ten months? (I've been lurking quietly though, some of you might've known.) does anyone actually still pay attention to my account? would anyone care if I came back? I'm like mad old, I'm coming up on twenty-three in september. does anyone even relate to old-people-writing? idk. what would it be like if I started posting some here again?

I don't write as much as I'd like, that's for sure. (though my writing is on, totally follow me there if you want!) I've been pretty focused on my photography (…, or if I'm being gutsy, I'll give you my facebook link for the page, I'll see how you guys respond first!) and I really just love it. I'll post a little here I think, like maybe a couple photos, maybe a couple poems, see how it goes?

I DON'T KNOW. talk to me? help me figure this out? I just guess I want to know if there's a community I'd be coming back to <3


ohsostarryeyed's Profile Picture
United States

writing/spoken word tumblr

photography website

vogue italia


model mayhem

my name is melissa and i have my reasons not to use capital letters.

i was born on the cusp of summer and fall in 1992, which feels like it was about twelve years ago - my maturity level reflects this. as a result, i am a poor college student. (if you would like to assist me in this endeavour, feel free to note me about receiving your own handwritten copy of my work and letter!)
i do not like certain words. (anion, anyways (because it's not really a word!), armpit, baked, blastula, breadth, bun, clotted, crusty, cusp, feasible, fondle, frottage, horndog, hospice, lest, mayochup, pusillanimous, refurbished, scalp, smug, sustenance, waft.)
i like quailman and dirty dick dastardly, and i hope you know who they are. i love with more than a love, and i quote things (in this case, edgar allan poe; in others, harry potter, 90s songs, and chuck palahniuk ) off the top of my head because it makes me feel good.

to do list: breathe, laugh, use tumblr less frequently.

inspiration| irving penn| emily tebbetts| katie lawrence| sarah smiley| moriah freed| larissa felsen| harley weir| daniyel lowden| chuck palahniuk| charles bukowski| jonathan safran foer| kurt vonnegut| franz kafka| geoff trenchard| buddy wakefield| everyone on my watch list

we were emergencies by buddy wakefield

We can stick anything into the fog and make it look like a ghost.

But tonight let us not become tragedies.

We are not funeral homes with propane tanks in our windows lookin’ like cemeteries. Cemeteries are just the Earth’s way of not letting go. Let go. Tonight, poets, let’s turn our wrists so far backwards the razor blades in our pencil tips can’t get a good angle on all that beauty inside.

Step into this.

With your airplane parts. Move forward.

And repeat after me with your heart: I no longer need you to fuck me as hard as I hated myself.

Make love to me like you know I am better than the worst thing I ever did. Go slow. I’m new to this, but I have seen nearly every city from a rooftop without jumping.

I have realized that the moon did not have to be full for us to love it. That we are not tragedies stranded here beneath it. That if our hearts really broke every time we fell from love I’d be able to offer you confetti by now.

But hearts don’t break, y’all, they bruise and get better. We were never tragedies. We were emergencies. You call 911. Tell them I’m havin’ a fantastic time.


Mon May 6, 2013, 9:40 PM
Mon May 6, 2013, 2:26 AM
Just saw your monroe annnd... I like it. Quite a lot. :)
Thu May 2, 2013, 6:41 PM
you are beautiful. just thought i'd tell you, because you might need someone to do so. <3
Thu Feb 28, 2013, 8:16 PM
hello you! :D it's been a long while...too long for my liking! i hope you have been well! p.s. i've followed you on tumblr. :huggle:
Wed Feb 20, 2013, 1:16 AM
Happy New Year, Miss Lovely, and may your heart feel better soon.
Fri Jan 4, 2013, 5:50 PM
I just want to tell you, I used to have a best friend with an eating disorder. Unfortunately I couldnt help her; as a result we drifted very far apart. If I could do anything it would be to make girls like her, an you, know how beautiful you really are.
Sun Oct 7, 2012, 5:55 AM
Mon Apr 16, 2012, 10:48 PM
You sent me a message 11 weeks ago. This is my first time checking dA in probably half a year.
Mon Apr 2, 2012, 11:43 PM
Congratulations, dear. c:
Wed Feb 22, 2012, 3:18 PM

do you think I should make a genuine return to dA? 

52 deviants said yes!
4 deviants said I'm not sure
1 deviant said other
No deviants said stick to tumblr
No deviants said you're unrelatable now, don't bother
No deviants said nah, your work isn't as good
No deviants said maybe, but only for your photos
No deviants said no


Add a Comment:
salt-and-the-moon Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Hey love, I'm back... but you seem to be gone :(
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2015
I've never been truly gone, always lurking a bit! but idk I'm kinda wavering on coming back, about to make a journal about it I think! <3
tacitaquipper Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
The stark tones of your imagery is very powerful. To quote Nietzsche, "you must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star." You have many dancing stars, and we adore them, but it appears to be at the price of your sanity.

Quite a high stake trade off, don't you think?
hell-on-a-stick Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2015  Professional Writer
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015   General Artist
hello there, lovely person! :huggle:
this is to inform you that i have made use of one of the titles of your poetry in my title poem over here: :love:
i hope that this is alright with you, pray that you enjiy the read, and thank you for your inspirational artistry! :eager: <3
exhalants Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2014  Student General Artist
there's just something so captivating about you, your character
poetry has soul to it
but you're v intriguing yourself
SleentheBeast Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much for the feature!
kaname-chan Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014
Happy birthday.
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014
a delayed thanks to you!
kaname-chan Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014
You're welcome. :)
Add a Comment: