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you're fifteen minutes away.  

that's a quarter of an hour, that's ten miles, that's space enough that i never have to see you again.

but still i feel my heart beating like a rabbit's foot against my rib.


look.


i'm a girl still in denial
of being a woman with
breasts and hips and a womb.  
i'm a child with my heart and i will surrender it foolishly
to the first boy to give me roses and push them into my hair.  
i don't know how to love,
the way i don't know how how to stop.

but let me tell you this- it happens.
they both do.

i loved your fragile brown eyes like i'd never seen a warmer fire.  
i sank my bones like an anchor to your earthly vessel and called it home.  
i staggered home drunk every weekend we were together
by word only.

and i felt myself falling apart when i sighed
with sleepy repetition as we exhausted the same jokes as ever,
just a million miles different.  
my mind drifted but i loved you.  
the feathered finches in my chest were beaten
naked and red-skinned when they flew from my throat
to sing songs to another.  
but i loved you.  
and i pressed the spine of my book flatter and harder
into the table to read you my heart until the pages had fewer words,
then only words,
and finally,
faded letters.

i still have them.
the letters.
they're in my nightstand reminding me of
the love i was so blessed to find.
i'm sorry that i pushed you from boston to georgia,
but mostly from me to empty hands.
i pulled away the earth from beneath your feet.

at night i still kiss your soul.
at night i remember our virginal fumbles
and forays into love.

you are fifteen minutes away
and i hope you've found solace within your chest;
i promise to keep above water;
i wish you love and life-
i wish you the best.
not a letter, more like spoken words he can't yet hear
Add a Comment:
 
:iconpengirl100and2:
pengirl100and2 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013   Writer
reading your writing is an incredibly amazing thing to do.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
i'm very pleased you think so :hug:
Reply
:iconmichi-iyo:
michi-iyo Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
this. my darling, is everything for today. everything inside of me and inside of so many others.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
:iconhuggleplz:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"i don't know how to love,
the way i don't know how how to stop."
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
<3
Reply
:iconfromashestoeden:
FromAshesToEden Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
god, i love this :heart:
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
thank you!
Reply
:iconfromashestoeden:
FromAshesToEden Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
of course, you will always amaze me melissa ;w;
Reply
:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
this is absolutely raw and beautiful. the finches imagery is beyond brilliant!
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconmedailon:
medailon Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I'm reading something from you after a long while.

"i'm a girl still in denial
of being a woman with
breasts and hips and a womb."
- I somehow really get this and I think it's beautiful simply because it speaks the truth and touches my heart. And many other parts of this.

It's nice to read your words again.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
thank you so much. i always enjoy hearing from you <3
Reply
:iconmedailon:
medailon Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
:) I'm glad.
Reply
:iconsaidye:
Saidye Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Student General Artist
I'm not going to lie...
I'm crying right now. I am seriously just crying right now.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
i hope it's a healing cry
Reply
:iconsaidye:
Saidye Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Student General Artist
I don't think it was.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
i'm very sorry then, love
Reply
:iconsaidye:
Saidye Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Don't be.


:heart:
Reply
:iconsmokedance:
smokedance Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
i. love. this. so much. i want it. oh my god.. <3
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
if you're inclined to own a handwritten copy (and accompanying letter!), do let me know ;P

shameless plug aside, i'm glad you enjoyed it!
Reply
:iconlovelydearyyou:
LovelyDearyYou Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You pour so much feeling into your words--it makes my heart ache. Your poetry is beautiful! Thank you for writing.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
thank you, my love
Reply
:iconi-am-a-bridgewalker:
i-am-a-bridgewalker Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
this is something beautiful and universally necessary--you just articulate it better than the thousands of people who've felt it.

gorgeous.

(though I think there's an extra "how" in "the way i don't know how how to stop." = ) )
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
thank you, beautiful
Reply
:iconmaybethen:
maybeTHEN Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012
i second that :)
Reply
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