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sext: this is for yousext: you are underwater. you are my head swimming as i hold my breath, you are the currents that make my heart beat, you are the waves that sway my hips. the salt of your lips is my favourite taste.
sext: if i am a hurricane, i hope you are the eye of my storm (deep inside of me, at my core).
sext: when you sleep, you are bent; bent, not broken. i will protect you from everything that threatens to shatter you. you are not made of glass, but i will bend (not break) to strengthen you.
sext: i look down and you are between my legs. you kiss me with those lips, before and after, and still there is love.
sext: if i promise you a good morning, i'll send you a poem for when you wake. if i promise you your favourite things, i'll get you strawberries (with the hats cut off), pokemon (always mewtwo), and a puppy (a blue-eyed husky). if i promise to be open, i'll take off my clothes and we can watch as the close falls to the floor. if i promise you smiles, i'll give you a thousand. if i promise
a brief love poemyou are everything-
the lilt in the voice
of the songbird,
the pillow beneath my head.
you are the nights
i can't sleep
and when dawn comes
i still smile.
10 ways depression can say i don't love you1. "i'm sorry
i don't want to
come over today."
the clock reads 4pm
and i roll over in my bed
2. "i forgot it was your
i'd forgotten my own
3. "i promise i won't
the ER doesn't believe
it's an accident
4. you asked if i loved you.
i had to sneeze and it
i think you took that
as a no.
5. we haven't had sex in a month.
6. we don't see
we don't see
i even have any.
7. i never answered your text.
it asked if i was okay.
8. "i need you to open yourself
up for me," you said.
i stopped talking.
9. "what do you want from me,
apparently you didn't.
10. tonight i will sleep alone
but not really.
depression will hold me
and stroke my hair,
telling me everything
will never be
a weight on my shouldersi can turn this pain into poetry but i cannot turn it into something worth having.
not always miserablethe last time you kissed me
was two augusts ago.
the boston harbour was bluer than
the eyes you so loved
looking back at yours when we said
i never meant goodbye.
take my lips
their feel, their taste
and press them to your own
i love you and will not
take you for granted.
i am so happy to be
in and on itself.
but time does not forget.
i remember the first time you kissed me
and how much i trembled,
my first kiss and you told me i could do better
so i melted
my face in your hand,
and let our skin stitch to the other
with the beads of excitement
that rolled down our fingers.
i know from the thick of my marrow
that the weight of your arm
(the first time)
was so immense, it should have taken
fifteen men to move it, tree-like,
to around my shoulder;
i remember the heat of your nerves
and the vibrations of mine,
getting to know one another.
(i think they fell in love, too.)
for those who want to be in loveyou want to fall in love
hard enough to break your bones and
lighten your feet
lighten your heart
so softly that the butterflies you feel
pattering with their gossamer wings
beneath the cage of your ribs
and the breath,
blue in the summer,
can kiss you and the monarchs
as sweetly as your love
and her lips.
you dream of them at night.
silken like clean bedsheets,
familiar as your favourite chair
when you curl up with
a mug of herbal tea.
you feel at home
with her body curled in yours,
only able to sleep
with her skin under your fingers
scenting the blankets
with something no perfume
could ever mirror.
you write love letters
you dream emptily
unless she is there.
you want to fall in love
the way the gods drink ambrosia,
you want to treat her
better than their nectar,
sweeter than honeybees
and their summer-sticky feet.
you want a love beyond poetry,
from winter flurries
to springtime rosebuds
to summer sweet lemonade
to autumnal red leaves u
a.i know she uses toothpaste
to whiten her teeth
but that's not the reason
her smile is so bright
she's got everything painted blue
with either morrissey
playing in the background
but not loud enough for you to hear the words
unless she sings them herself,
& it's much prettier that way.
i like the feeling i get
when i pull her hips
& when our chests mesh,
the way our breathing picks up
like a band when the singer
begins a new song.
we aren't anything apart
but when the lights dim
and our glasses fill,
i swear you can hear a hum
and the pluck of a guitar
searching for its harmony.
get me dead.i'm the girl that wishes -
not for anything good, of course -
just that she could sit in the dark
for the rest of eternity,
bleeding crimson onto the keyboard
as she types away dead poetry.&she's the bad dream
you can't wake up from.
no matter how many times
you tell yourself it wasn't real,
it's always in the back of your mind,
haunting you from the shadows.&she'll take the rest of her antidepressants
just to escape from the thoughts -
the thoughts of you breaking her heart,
even though she knows you never will.¬hing she says is poetic;
no, that's not what's expected.
and you can't shock people,
because that's when they start to worry.&you'll speak of birth control
and carbon monoxide and all these other things
that no one my age should be taking.
and all i'll do is walk out the door.&sometimes that's all you can do.
lock the joints."i remember the curve of your bones."
"yeah, every last part of your body. i know the place your hip bones try to escape and to what extent. your ribcage seemed longer than everyone elses'. your thumb pops in and out of place.
but all of that seems just like us."
"yeah, our relationship. we were together for two years, but we never really wanted to be; we wanted to leave.
and i think i know why."
"yeah, because we stole too many bottles of alcohol from the liquor store. we spent too much money on cigarettes. we wasted too much gas trying to hide from your grandmother. we worried so much about getting away from the world.
and i have a theory on that, too."
"yeah, we were raised to run away. we were both raised in different homes with the same morals. screaming, pounding, slamming doors; it all just adds to the fact that we were never meant to overwelcome our stay. people get sick of us. they throw us out.
and i might know why."
322010.i want to be a cigarette.
because every time your hands stumble across one, you wrap your fingers tightly around it. your eyes show a sense of salvation, a sense of oh-God,-i've-wanted-you-for-so-long. with a flick of your fingers, it lights up a smile as bright as the sun.
i'll tell you a secret: someday this world is going to end
and when we die we'll only be left
with fragile memories
what is a masochist?when i found you last week, you were pressing the lips
of a broken bottle to your face, tracing a line of red tears.
when i asked why you did it to yourself, you said
i like myself better this way.
when i saw you in the hallway, you held the hand of another
whore, and she held the keys to your heart.
when i asked why you did this to yourself, you said
i like myself better this way.
when i called you three days ago, you were crying while you smothered
your mouth with your own hands, bruising the curves of your lips.
when i asked why you did that to yourself, you said
i like myself better this way.
when i took you out for a drive yesterday, you kept yourself away. you stayed
quiet and bit your tongue till it bled, but your black eyes never left my body.
when i asked why you do this to yourself, you said
i can like myself better this way.
when i came to your house today, you were tying ropes around your
neck. your floor was covered in
tell me.if i'm breathing.
if i'm dreaming.
if i'm sleeping.
if i'm drowning.
if i'm dying.
if i'm faking.
if i'm leaving.
if i'm staying.
if i'm loving someone else.
if i'm here without you.
if i'm running.
if i'm bleeding.
if i'm healing.
if i'm crying.
if i'm lying.
if i'm home.
if i'm away.
if i'm alone.
if i'm lonely.
if i'm screaming.
if i'm alive.
because i don't want to know.
ghosts“he reminded me of you,” i say, “he painted flowers.”
“did you love him?”
i watch him, waiting for a reaction
but he just smiles
and it’s quiet –
just the ticking of the clock hanging above the door
just the leaking of the kitchen taps
just the rain
just a siren –
hey, go crash your cars and commit your murder on somebody else’s street,
this house has seen enough.
he looks out the window above the sink,
he looks outside
where there is love
and people –
“are you ready to finally open your eyes?” he asks.
it’s dark but he’s still smiling.
“you smile too much,” i tell him, “you always have.”
he laughs, he smiles, he glows – lighting up the whole fucking room.
and for a moment it’s no longer dark.
“how can somebody smile too much?” he wonders.
it makes me sick.
“you make me s
Do you believe?"Do you believe in Angels?"
I couldn't help the gentle laugh that escaped me; he had a habit of asking such questions, for no reason whatsoever. Because of it, I often wondered what went on inside his head. I relocated my gaze to my right, where he sat beside me. "Why do you ask?"
His legs swung lightly back and forth as the ground stared menacingly from below. One wrong move and we would fall; one wrong move and we could die. Was it the thrill that kept me with him, prevented me from thinking straight?
Cold wind engulfed us, sending chills down my spine. In the light of the moon, he looked so pure, almost angelic. I smiled and stared up at the pale globe; we often shared such moments together. Those were the moments that helped us through hard times. When we wanted to scream and give up, our conversations pulled us back to earth.
A ghost of a smile crossed his lips; still, he did not look at me. His eyes never left the moon, a quick glance at him sho
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