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Submitted on
February 27


22 (who?)
i scratch my skin til it looks like it's burnt off.  i don't eat til i am begged and pleaded and my lover won't eat because of my sadness.  it's okay because it's how i cope.  it's okay because i might be dying but it soothes me.  i never mind.

i used to fall in love with happiness and hope but lately it's lost its charm.  so now the prince rides in on his white horse in the form of fingers in my throat and handfuls of pills and hours and hours of overdosed, sleepless bliss.  sometimes i think this is heaven.

i feel myself burning.  i'm drowning.  i promise myself this is paradise but every time i wake, my stomach turns because i see no angels, only wingless bodies and darkness.
ducttapefanatic Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014
getting it out on paper helped me. feeling like you are simultaneously burning and drowning was a beautiful comparison.  sometimes it is hard enough just to try and describe how you may be feeling,  so it is good that you are writing about it.  I really do love your writing. even if I'm just a stranger I can relate to the emotion in it and will be reading more.
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 25, 2014
thank you thank you thank you!!
Shinseinasenshi Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Perhaps you should reconsider your perception of the afterlife....  Let me tell you a story.

A man had a near death experience once.
He was a diver. While on an expedition with some friends, he got split
up from them and was shocked by 5 of the most lethal jellyfish all at once.
Near death and unspeakably paralyzed (we're talking quad) the man began to
fall into a deep coma and was on the verge of death. 

When he came to, in his "reality" he too saw nothing but darkness. Frantic and 
looking everywhere but up, he began to run aimlessly around, feeling for any walls or
tangible space in his new prison...  After a few minutes of screaming at the
top of his lungs and finding nothing but the emptiness around him, a deep and
menacing voice calls out to him from the darkness.


In desperate fear and trembling the man collapses to his knees, looks up and cries out to God. All in a matter of moments, the man visibly sees and feels with his entire body - "waves" of spirit fall over him.  Love....  Joy.....  Peace.....
Somehow knowing that he would have no use with his life to serve a greater
purpose even if he "could" return from grave, he humbly asked in his grim reality to be made whole. His wish was granted. The man awoke with one eye open and one eye
closed at first. In a hospital bed. ^^ Scaring the "b'Jesus" out of a passing nurse.
The man described his point of view as seeing half of our reality for a moment and half of "his" previous "hell". He made a full recovery within 4 hours and was discharged that afternoon.

There are many stories like this one....   but who is to say who will be given grace and who will simply perish? Can you really chose your own destiny or are you doomed by
birth through the circumstances that change your life?

Nice picture you gave anyway...  forgive me for filling your space here.

Blessings, fellow debtee. 

The price was paid, 
you simply need accept and receive the free gift.
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