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Submitted on
April 24
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i might cut my hair if it didn't remind me of you,
but just like the fade from september into the pits of october,
i fall.


down
      the
rabbit
      hole.


i'm not alice, this isn't wonderland, but i am just as surrounded by things that yell,
"eat me! drink me!" and they don't say it but i know they'll all make me bigger,
sadder, fatter, too big to fit into a house, my arms my legs come shooting out,
everything i feel is just too loud-

look.

i should be better than i am.
i should be taking the world by the shoulders, shaking back its shoulders because i am a storm, i am a force of nature and you will take notice-
but my winds are quiet. my rain is sad.

i'm too afraid to swell up in full vigor,
to take what is mine in case it's taken from me again,
i will never forget what you did- in camera flash moments, in sharp moments-
to leave me broken.

there are some cuts that never close up.
there are some things that never get spoken.
and there are some things you can change/cut out/erase/improve, if you only let them.

this is when you cut your hair because it's what you want,
this is when you swallow those "eat me! drink me!" bottles and build yourself a bigger house for all the you you didn't know you had,
this is when you realise forgiveness only comes when you forgive yourself-


this is when you stop being the victim and start becoming
the threat.
this might be how it goes.
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:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
this is amazing. i loooooooooove that ending.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
thank you so much!!
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
fuck 
melissa
ive let shit pile up in my messages and everything I'm reading of yours is hitting me so hard I'm spamming you so much rn but I have so much love for you and your poetry. so glad you're still around, you're one of the only ones left from the good ole days of dA ya feel me
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
oh this made me happy to read :] i'm quite happy to have you from the good ole days as well
Reply
:iconiceblueeyedgirl:
Iceblueeyedgirl Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
♥Love this! Alice in Wonderland is one of my all time favorite stories, Love the comparison! The end is especially lovely! ♥
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 24, 2014
thank you!
Reply
:iconkrish-x:
krish-x Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Student Writer
It's been so long since i've read words by you, which is weird considering there was a time when we spoke a lot. I'm glad I logged back into this old account, I've missed your words and this is amazing. The nickname Alycat feels weird on my tongue I haven't said it in so long, I hope you're well.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 21, 2014
OH MY GOSH KRISH I MISS YOU!!!
Reply
:iconangelalala923:
Angelalala923 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Student Interface Designer
Super interesting concept with the comparison to Alice in Wonderland!
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014
thank you!
Reply
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