Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
i'm starting to feel
the intensity of the silence
linger on my back again,
your fingers, my spine.
it scares me,
how heavy a hand
can be on a body.

for this,
i pretend we are both windows,
open to the world,
yet still a layer of glass
to keep ourselves safe,
or really, each other.

it would be wrong
for me to say
i don't worry every night,
before i fight for
a few hours' sleep-
the only thing
i can never believe in-
that no matter how much
better
i become,
better will never mean best
for you.

i am malleable like clay,
the dirt and water
i find in my hands
after i extract them,
like hands full of golden teeth,
from my mouth.

some day,
i hope to say
that it has been months
since i have felt this earth,
these warm motes like bodies
clinging to the backs
of my fingers,
how heavy hands
can be on a body;

fingers, yours,
spine, mine.
full title: love(,)sick girl's heart

this came out better than i expected
ok
bedtime
i have a final tomorrow
and a paper to finish by friday
and i still have roughly 3.75 pages left to do
but at least it's on kafka and vonnegut
i love my absurdists
Add a Comment:
 
:iconperidot-magelette:
peridot-magelette Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013
"that no matter how much
better
i become,
better will never mean best
for you."

wow. yep. that's it.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconmyheartcage:
myheartcage Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011
you have the most beautiful way of putting words together. every one of your pieces is better than the last.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2011
i heart you.
Reply
:iconsidd-says-gimme:
sidd-says-gimme Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
This is perfect. Really, I mean it.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
thank you, beauty
Reply
:iconyourbuddybill:
YourBuddyBill Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Others of us have been in similar situations. Sometimes, if the other is doing nothing but hurting you, it takes an ultimatum: All or nothing. If he isn't willing to do what it takes, then maybe he's not the right one for you. Maybe the right one is out there somewhere, you just gotta find each other.
Don't get all depressed. We understand.
Reply
:iconimpracticaldreamer25:
This extremely well written and very beautiful! I love the ending, how you repeat the same words from the first verse. Your analogies and metaphors are lovely as always!
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012
thank you, lovely!
Reply
:iconwolf3dreamer:
wolf3dreamer Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
I think you visit my mind sometimes. Or perhaps the other way around. Because your work reflects my life so accurately sometimes, it's scary. :faint:
Please don't stop. You give words to my troubles :worship:
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
this made me smile, thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconwolf3dreamer:
wolf3dreamer Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
I'm glad, dear :heart:
We all need to smile a little more often.
Reply
:iconblood-lace:
Blood-Lace Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This absolutely stopped me in my tracks. So beautiful.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconquenwrites:
QuenWrites Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Although my situation is rather (very) different from yours, there are so many lines which I can really relate to. I can almost feel the fingers on my spine o.0 beautiful :)
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconquenwrites:
QuenWrites Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
No problem, thank you for writing it :D
Reply
:iconwongy06:
wongy06 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
I wish I could automatically favourite all of your gallery. :(
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
i'm glad you can't -- i could write shit (on purpose, as opposed to whatever my skill level allows me at the time ;P) and you'd be stuck favouriting it!
Reply
:iconwongy06:
wongy06 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2011
Hey, if it's written by you, I couldn't care less whether or not it's good because it would be on purpose hence representing some part of what you feel instantly making it good. XDDD
Reply
:iconrestlessink:
restlessink Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
i honestly adore this. it's like a little piece of a home in a too loud world
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconlittlewednesday:
LittleWednesday Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
Beautiful. :heart:
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
<3333
Reply
:iconmouseluva:
mouseluva Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Student General Artist
I love this, and Vonnegut. How similar is Kafka?
It was actually your mentioning of Vonnegut in a few places that made me look him up, and Palahnuik. Yay for finally finding something appealing in the library's adult section :D
Good luck with the final! I'm on post-exam summer holidays here.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
well, i definitely prefer vonnegut, but kafka is the father of absurdism, so without him, we wouldn't have vonnegut, really.
chuck palahniuk is a god, i absolutely insist.
i can't imagine i did poorly on my college writing final, that was just a presentation haha :]
Reply
:iconmouseluva:
mouseluva Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Student General Artist
I must hunt out Kafka next time I go to the library then c:
I hope it went brilliantly (: I hate presentations >.> If I don't have at least a month to practice it enough to go into robot mode while presenting, I fail so hard. There's one in the English course next year where you have to think on your feet though, so I am fairly well screwed there :D
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
i'm writing on "the hunger artist" -- i'm only familiar with his short stories, and regret not reading "the metamorphosis" when it was assigned.
oh, it was just a really lax presentation and the class was small, so it was fine! haha ohhhh dear, that class sounds frightening!
Reply
:iconmouseluva:
mouseluva Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Student General Artist
Interesting title o: What's it about?
It's only one assessment (: The rest of the year is written, thankfully.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
which story?
and that's good :]
Reply
:iconmouseluva:
mouseluva Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Student General Artist
'The Hunger Artist'. So much potential for creativity locked in a few small words.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
i advise you read it! it's literally about a man who fasts for public attention, makes himself a spectacle, and what happens after it fades out of fashion.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconwarpedpurity:
WarpedPurity Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
like.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
:hug: (but for real)
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconohsostarryeyed: More from ohsostarryeyed


Featured in Collections

poetryyy by towards-eternity

Writing by WhiskeyTodd


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
December 12, 2011
File Size
1.2 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,804
Favourites
108 (who?)
Comments
44
×