Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
maybe it's weird
or maybe it's beautiful
but i picture every boy
i might end up with
taking photographs with me -

here ,
we are at the beach
by grey waters
in the atlantic february ;
here ,
we are all angles of bone
& skin, just close enough
to make something beautiful ;
here ,
your back sinks like a
broken ship
as you sleep in such peace
that even the shutter keeps
the silence safe
from its sound .
a quick thought

i hope this turns into something
i think the photos would be beautiful
Add a Comment:
 
:iconizzy3301:
izzy3301 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014
Wow, what a great poem! Well Done!
Reply
:iconmariatala:
MariaTala Featured By Owner May 14, 2012
great imagery.:heart:
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 15, 2012
merci <333
Reply
:iconmadisonhelen:
MadisonHelen Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Student Writer
I do the same thing. Whenever I'm dating someone, I imagine that scene from Atonement (if you haven't seen it, you should. gurl, you would love it) when they're running the waves and it's silly and theatrical because love is not that at all.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 22, 2012
i haven't seen it! maybe i should
Reply
:iconmadisonhelen:
MadisonHelen Featured By Owner May 23, 2012  Student Writer
It's so good and beautiful and british, but so tragic and depressing.
Reply
:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner May 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i do this as well. i've always wanted to have someone who would take photos of those intimate moments with me. however i wonder if it would make them less precious so i never do it.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 7, 2012
i wonder the same, actually
i just want to do it anyway
Reply
:iconalika-n:
alika-n Featured By Owner May 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is actually pretty good!! Doesn't look at all like a "quick thought" ;-) I love the lines! I love the images! Not sure if you're looking for (constructive) critique but all I would potentially change is the 1st line "maybe it's weird or maybe it's beautiful". Keep up the great work! :-)
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 7, 2012
:] thank you! i don't know if i can change a quick thought, though haha but i'm always up for critique!
Reply
:iconalika-n:
alika-n Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I actually think your poetry is pretty good!! Where do you live? Somewhere on the West coast?

Alex
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 9, 2012
:] thank you! nope, east coast all the way!
Reply
:iconamethystwolf4:
Amethystwolf4 Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2012
Beautiful imagery!
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 7, 2012
thanks!!
Reply
:iconamethystwolf4:
Amethystwolf4 Featured By Owner May 8, 2012
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconthe-picturer:
The-Picturer Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2012
this reminds me of my love. i nearly cried.
amazing. thank you for this.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012
you are so lovely :hug: i miss your writing!
Reply
:iconkthecard:
KtheCard Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2012  Student Writer
this is lovely, so lovely. every word is golden. :heart:
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012
thank you so much!!
Reply
:iconquenwrites:
QuenWrites Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm afraid I'm a girl, but marry me anyway?
This is really beautiful :)
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2012
oh, i don't mind, marriage is lovely, let's!
thank you :]
Reply
:iconquenwrites:
QuenWrites Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
WOOO!
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconrazaugg:
razaugg Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2012
Whoever ends up being this boy will be super lucky :)
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012
you are very kind :hug:
Reply
:iconasuray93:
asuray93 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012
i think you just deserve to be loved but at the same time you don't believe it...
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012
:hug: :\
Reply
:iconfromashestoeden:
FromAshesToEden Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
being a photographer, this poem really hits my heart :heart:
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012
thank you <3
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
is there a reason for the spaces before punctuation >:l
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
i liked it better
the whole pace of this seemed too fast and i thought the spaces slowed it a little and it felt right-er
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
but the ocd in me goes myeh
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012
my ocd is cwazy, smd <3
Reply
:iconj355f4c3:
J355F4C3 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Student General Artist
Styling. Rules of grammar don't really apply to poetry unless it's a known style of poetry. Even then, that could be turned into something else.
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
that's true, but i get ocd about that lol
and melissa is a bit ocd too, so i was just curious why she did it
Reply
:iconj355f4c3:
J355F4C3 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Student General Artist
Yeah I'm pretty OCD about certain things too. lol
Reply
:iconscreamingtc:
ScreamingTc Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
This might actually be the best piece of poetry I've seen on here. I mean it's actual, proper poetry. Not the kind that sounds like it's been written by a 15 year old Twilight fan. o.O I'm in awe...
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
you're lovely :] keep looking through galleries, (here is where i shamelessly promote my journals, where i have featured wonderful writers who deserve more attention) you'll find some gold!
Reply
:iconscreamingtc:
ScreamingTc Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012
Aww shucks, when I have some spare time I'll have a look around. :)
Reply
:icon88pixiegirl88:
88pixiegirl88 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is so lovely...
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
thank you!
Reply
:icon88pixiegirl88:
88pixiegirl88 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :) I think the idea is definitely a beautiful one, not sappy or silly.
Reply
:icondonttuchme:
donttuchme Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Thats a good thing to think about
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
:aww:
Reply
:icondonttuchme:
donttuchme Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012  Student Digital Artist
;-)
Reply
:icondonttuchme:
donttuchme Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Thats a good thing to think about
Reply
:iconiris-sky:
iris-sky Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Student General Artist
the passage describing him asleep is gorgeous. absolutely stunning: thank you for sharing this!
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
thank YOU!
Reply
:iconhummingbird96:
hummingbird96 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i started crying when i read this while listening to birdys cover of 'the a team' by ed sheeran :')
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
i haven't heard it! i'm glad you liked it, though :]
Reply
:iconhummingbird96:
hummingbird96 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah its a very beautiful cover of the song check it out :)
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconohsostarryeyed: More from ohsostarryeyed


Featured in Collections

Could read forever. by KaiaRose

writing by What-Doesnt-Kill-You

poetry by AnotherPassenger


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
April 19, 2012
File Size
603 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
5,778
Favourites
328 (who?)
Comments
124
×