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i know i'm a very common-,
innocent-looking girl.
i look like i floss my teeth
at least once a week
and have never worn
thong underwear,
like i devour books like candy
and never talked during class.

it's funny when people are nothing like how they look.

so let me tell you something,
let me set you straight:
i'd have you believe
i'm not some heavily medicated girl
with snakes up and down her body
in bright red rows, all raw and scabbed and
constant, ceaseless, neverending reminders of fucked-up and failure...
but it never took much for you to talk me into bed.
letting you think i'm some perfect porcelain figurine
without cracks all up my spine is about as ok as forging your mom's signature;
meaning it's alright as long as it's nothing serious.

and maybe that's the problem.
playing hopscotch cross-continent all summer and
making a patchwork quilt out of our travels when the cold sets in
is a pretty serious stab at giving us another go.
i can deal with touch, i just might shudder
when those hands are connected to someone i care for;
and i can deal with words, i just might retreat
when they get too heavy for me to lift;

but look.
i've put my first name with the last names
of too many men i will never marry
to put more than my heart into this.
you'll never get my soul,
but you will get my body and you will be glad for it.

and maybe i look like the word "sex" still brings a flush to my face,
or that reading means more to me than sleep,
and maybe that's true, all of it...or none of it, so what, it doesn't matter.

just listen:
you will never know me until i tell you.
and i'll tell you when i know.

but let me set you straight:
i might not be able to recognise myself in the mirror yet,
and i might not know how to love or love the right way,
but i sure as hell would rather be a lively whore than a dying prude.
this sucks
but i just came from a poetry lounge so i'm writing dammit

last line courtesy of ~formaniac in conversation once :]

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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012   General Artist
I really adore the honesty in your words, it flows like water in a river :]
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
thank you, lovely :hug:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012   General Artist
Anytime, darling :huggle:
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:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful. Lovely work. <'3

+ fave
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
thank you <333
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:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. <3
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:iconnikki-ism:
Nikki-ism Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012
the last paragraph, love you.
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012
:hug: love youuu
Reply
:iconkelsendiperous:
Kelsendiperous Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Student Writer
AAAAAAGH, the last line. Rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. You're the best. High five.
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012
:] merci!!
Reply
:iconkaname-chan:
kaname-chan Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012
Personally I liked it a lot. Can't exactly put my finger on what it makes me think of. But I assure you it's a good thing. I think it flows well and it kept me in the moment from line to line. :hug:
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012
thank you kindly <3
Reply
:iconkaname-chan:
kaname-chan Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012
You're very welcome :)
Reply
:iconbringyourownbomb:
bringyourownbomb Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012  Student Writer
this is amazing.
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012
glad you think so <3
Reply
:iconanyimacielgray:
anyimacielgray Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012
hehehehe bukowski would have jizzed at the last line
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012
~formaniac once said it to me and i said i'd use it in a poem sometime so i did
Reply
:iconanyimacielgray:
anyimacielgray Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2012
those are my favourite
once my cousin said to me "cruella de vil is just an unsuccessful cruella de vil"
brilliant
it became a title for me(:
Reply
:iconblood-lace:
Blood-Lace Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This rings very earnest and I adore it.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012
thank you :heart:
Reply
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