[x]

the look to letting you goi hope i ruined
your day
like a smudge
of ink-

i like reminding you
of the things
i am sure you proudly
keep hidden,
beneath shrouds
of black,
like clouds
and that
ache my heart,
so loud
when i try
to sleep.

i have
bookmarked my skin
where you last
touched me
so that i may
open the pages
and read us
again
when i feel a little
less sick.

all i want is to look across
a span of space-
a floor, a bed,
the breath between
a face-
and see another
holding me like light
within warm eyes.

it is likely
we will not make it
through the night;
in this case,
i hope that,
with my last,
fast breath,
i learn to love

wasting usi want you, ok
i want you to be on your knees
all scraped and red and raw
like you're a child again
because that's all you ever
were
i want you to be aching
the way i've been aching
since the last rays of summer
said goodbye to us,
goodbye to us
and i want you to never forget
that just because
you don't remember my birthday,
that doesn't mean
you'll ever,
ever
forget the feel of my skin
on yours
for the first time
and that someday
this memory will stop hurting.
it never will,
and i promise you this:
every time it crosses your mind-
while you wait at the bus stop,
during a chemistry exam,
the next time a girl touche

learning to forget how to readi hate it a little
with my bottom lip
pulled between your teeth
it's like moonlight,
the only light by which
i really see you

i don't know how to think
(about you, anything, this)
and everything you do
is balanced on a scale,
waiting for so much as a breath
to knock it from its centre

(if you don't ask me
to come over, if you
greet me with a television
or hands in my jeans, if
you wait for me before i
leave you in the morning, if
you kiss me upon awakening
or sleeping or as i drift
between the boundaries of
here and with you,)

i am just caught in the tides
the ebb and the flow
as i fail continually
to understand
that

schadenfreudei found love
in your bone structure,
troublingly beautiful
with your soul worn across your lips.

you remind me of the sunshine
i lost in the circles
i left behind
to find someone an ocean
less far.

instead,
i am here,
watching the birds take flight
from the edges of your mouth,
watching their wings curl
with every word
strained with an accent
owned by my ancestors
born on ships.

i want you to tell me again
about the times
you found a purity in his eyes,
the blank skin upon which
they were set like jewels
and those when
you grinned cheekily
when i told you how
terribly beautiful
you really were.

i find myself wis

kelsey's valentine's day poemi don't see the point
of writing you something
beautiful
when anything we have made
beautiful
has fallen
like ice from the sky.

instead of beautiful
rivulets of crystal from the clouds,
they became knives;
words once gorgeous
ravaged my skin,
a razorblade.
every photograph
of us
together,
your head on my lap
and my lips on yours,
something that took effort
and time and care
that you no longer have,
something that took awhile
but eventually grew on me
as one of my favourite pictures,
as something solid,
proof of us,
this photograph,
any photograph
of you and i together,
now an image of something
we've left behin

emotion, embodiedthere are things
living in me
that bring the floor
to my knees-
powers like concrete
and steel,
fierce infrastructure
of my bones
filled with something
like fire,
or smoke.

i have been
holding my breath
for so long
that i am scared
to let my body
breathe,
or give vessels,
these things
living in me,
the means to
become something
when i
myself
can't.

i pray to god,
a being unseen,
that i will
kill off these things
living inside me;
instead,
all i manage
to do
is kill off
myself.

basically i'm like vomitwhat happens when you finally find love
(or it finds you)
but it picks up its pieces
(and yours too)
and moves to georgia?

look-
you are not the only one.

people leave their hearts
behind
everywhere.
like
if you take a walk
down the street-
the pavement you're walking on,
take a look at it.
like
really look at it.

i hope you see
vague outlines in the cement,
heart shaped, yes,
with initials stamped
like sad hooves
in their middles
because basically,
that's what love feels like.

and still,
you are not the only one.

you do not deserve
the attention
to be fixed.
you are to remain
a broken doll
at best
on the she

the mat that clung to my backmy story was that
love knew me,
& i knew love;
that we embraced,
our limbs interwoven
like the fabric
of the universe.

it has been two weeks,
& i have two freckles
like tooth marks
right where you left
a bruise,
that last time
i saw you,
the last time
i thought maybe
you could love me
as i am.

the sadness of how
mistaken i was
fills me up now
& blossoms like a flower,
hot tea like twigs & branches
within my bones.

my story has changed thus:
i loved
i lost
i fell
apart.

i hope,
more than the number of wishes
made on the stars tonight,
that one day,
you can be in a relationship
with me
instead of my sickness;

glass windowswe are windows,
made of glass
and shattered
in the old houses
of our bodies.

the wood of our
fragile frames
has been dismissed,
extricated from
their interlocking
webwork,
and pulled a
thousand miles
into the heat of georgia.

i will miss the
weighted feathers
of your hands,
the sun spilling
across your face
and painting your
smile,
graffiti,
across the city
of barcelona.

i am terrified
to lose you
to the sea,
ever-growing,
between
you and me.

i just pray
to the same god
you believe in
that if our ship
sinks,
we will each
remember
to float.

go to sleep for the love of godi kind of feel like ripping my face off.

look-
it's not one of those sad, suicidal stories. i mean, if i believed in suicide in the way that means i could do it, then yeah, it would be. but i don't, and i guess you're kind of lucky for that because now you can go to sleep with a clear conscience.

i won't ever tell you about how many pages and books and scraps of paper and unsent text messages and notes on the backs of my hands i've written for you, or how inarticulate you were when you wanted to say how you felt. i won't ever tell you how i wished for a few words that could tell me that i was loved, even a little, and i sure as fuck won

renewalyou are small,
yet unchanged
an infant
in stature;
in heart,
an empire.

please,
if you can,
love me;
i am white washed on the shores,
the grains of sand clinging
to your skin until it glitters.

i will start fires,
if it means something to you;
i will scrub my hands
if my blood is your currency.

i have folded under the bends
of your effort,
your being pressing into me
just by the weight i feel
in my heart.

to hear your voice
is to hear a melody
i knew i could never know again,
that i had sworn to forget;
yet upon hearing it,
felt my body swell with its notes
and burst with memory.

you are still one thousand miles

what was once our home is now our horror.when i'm not talking to you
i feel like vomiting,
walking behind a boy
who wore the same cologne
as you.

i can't cancel us-
we aren't a subscription-
before we have been
worn through
like soles of
old shoes.

and i think you
know that,
too.

the silence,
as heavy as it is,
is nothing
compared to the weight
of our hearts.

i don't know
if we'll ever
let this go;

but before we're done,
i need you
to look at me
full on,
the way you would
a mirror,
and not a naked girl
undressing in front
of you
for the last time.

the sickness of breathingi thank god's hands
for creating you
and bearing you
to me;
and i fear the day
that he takes you away.

i wish you all the wellness
bubbling up from the ground,
and all the mud from which
we were each made.
and all the same,
i know better than to
believe it
when i feel
you will stay.

tonight, i know you
will leave me
again.

when you do,
i need you to
kiss me like your mother
kissed your father
the day she left you
all behind,
packed her suitcase
full of flowered clothing,
and shut the front door behind her
quietly.

colour the desperation
quietly on your face.
i want to see you feel
before you turn
away from me

i have the right not to give excuses or reasonsi am not going to
explain myself
away.

i am no ocean tide,
ebbing and flowing
over the sands of us,
and your approval-
your pleasure
of what i am
is not needed.

you do not
need to know
why i am hurt,
why we do not speak,
or why i still love you.
you do not
need to understand
(the way the moon
does its stars)
why i feel and ache
and show this on
my skin and bone.

the fear,
however,
of keeping you away,
of creating distance
more than the miles
between home
and georgia,
relinquishes
the power i hold
between my teeth
and i burrow
like scarab beetles in the sand
into why,
why,
why.

i cannot wait
to breathe
an

a hunger artistthe next time it happens,
maybe i won't be there.
i could have sold my soul
to the circus,
to starve myself
til my dying breath,
unadmired,
as it should be.

perhaps i will unravel,
skin like streamers
up to the bends of my elbows,
before you realise that, maybe,
you can feel the electrical discharge
from my broken circuits,
and that that is enough.

or better yet,
i will learn to love
another
while you're stuck
in your own crog,
muck and mire
piled to a level
just below the lips
i used to kiss
and keep safe
inside my memory.

but mostly, oh
but mostly,
i will never leave you,
dear,
i will never leave.
i am not fa

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here is the sky, pink at noon and blue at sunset, black at darkest night with stars soaked in its ebony skin.

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split me open like a sunrise

by *ohsostarryeyed, Jan 30, 2012, 6:38:03 PM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

i promise
i don't think about you anymore
not even a little
like a mouse;
but the moment
i fall like the autumn,
the one we spent
at the in-between-
a crossing of streets,
the lovers
and strangers-
seeing you
is like
seeing my own hands
for the first time.

i stumble with numbness
and a definite lack
of control(led motor skills)
as i fight for an instant
where i feel it is safe
to breathe,
or to let my heart beat.
i hate to see your eyes.
they are too warm
and i know that if i were
to reach and touch your skin,
it would be, too.

what did i do before i watched you,
a figure eight
winding in the periphery?

what did i do before i loved you,
waking up beside your body
is feeling a sip of tea
become a flower
and blossom within my chest;

i promise
i don't think about you anymore
not even a little
like a mouse;
but the moment
i fall like the autumn,
the one we spent
at the in-between-
a crossing of streets,
the lovers
and strangers-

what did i do before i met you?

split me open like a sunriseby *ohsostarryeyed

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

or i should say, sunset
because we have fallen behind the horizon
but the problem is
our sun will never again rise

i feel sick and want to take five times the dose of my anxiety meds

~Voqu Mar 25, 2012

you're like a waterfall of perfect words.

*ohsostarryeyed Apr 3, 2012

this is so amazing, i love you for saying this

~The-Picturer Feb 7, 2012

i love the way your words move!

*ohsostarryeyed Feb 22, 2012

ahhh, thank you!

*staphysagria Jan 31, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Hell, love, this is what I needed.

*ohsostarryeyed Feb 5, 2012

pleased to help!

*Aldrea01 Jan 31, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

This rings so true for me. Your worlds are beautiful... It's incredible how you catch real moments in life, real emotions, those things that most of us struggle to understand, let alone convey... So touching. Thank you for sharing them with us; it means a lot to random strangers like me who feel almost as though the words were written from our own hearts.

*ohsostarryeyed Feb 5, 2012

thank you so much for this

~collarbonechild Jan 31, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

wow, absolutely love this. have you heard of fiona apple? she's a singer but her songs are very poetic. you might like her. just came to mind haha anyways this is wonderful and so true and i hope you feel better soon

*ohsostarryeyed Feb 5, 2012

i've heard of her, but i don't know her music! thank you :]

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split me open like a sunrise

split me open like a sunriseby *ohsostarryeyed

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