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:iconohsostarryeyed: More from ohsostarryeyed


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Writing by Nephilum-Kat

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Submitted on
May 3, 2011
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trigger me, baby
i'm your gun
watch me spill blood,

look for those
thin red ropes
round my wrists,
corsets incarnadine
to my elbows;

how many ways
do you want to die?
hold yourself
down

in the water, baby
i'm not quite human right now
i am the june moon
in that i am too big
and too full
and too bright;

i am hunger
i am lust
i am want want want you
back in my arms

let every day be friday night
we'll turn off the lights
and fall together
like pieces of the world.
lalalala first new piece in a couple days
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:iconsoftsyllables:
softsyllables Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
i like this, and i like the concept, but i don't think it's your best poem. (i don't say this to be mean, truly i love your work... i just don't think this is your best). maybe your're trying to hard, but i do like the last stanza. you ended it perfectly.
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
nah, i definitely agree with you. thank you!
Reply
:icontowards-eternity:
towards-eternity Featured By Owner May 8, 2011   Writer
"look for those
thin red ropes
round my wrists,"

"how many ways
do you want to die?"

"and fall together
like pieces of the world."

spectacular, breath-taking, painfully accurate, and splendid. <3
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 8, 2011
thanks so much!!
Reply
:iconruhee2212:
ruhee2212 Featured By Owner May 4, 2011  Student General Artist
i love it..
Reply
:iconslim-shady101:
Slim-Shady101 Featured By Owner May 4, 2011
"I'm not quite human right now" is definitely my favorite line. So thought-provoking and I'm sure you could do a lot more with it!
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 5, 2011
thank you!
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:iconcalleighblack:
CalleighBlack Featured By Owner May 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
PERFECTION!!! Yay!
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner May 4, 2011
silly you!
Reply
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